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DRAMATIS PERSONAE
[Enter MARIA and KIKUMON]
MARIA: Kikumon! What’s going on? Why are all these Digimon running away?
KIKUMON: I don’t know, though I think it may have to do with him!
[Enter EMPEROR and WORMMON]
EMPEROR: Come back here!! I will make you all my slaves!
WORMMON: Master, is this really necessary?
EMPEROR: Silence, Wormmon!
MARIA: Who is that?
KIKUMON: He calls himself the Digimon Emperor, and he uses those Dark Spirals to make the Digimon his slaves, or at least that’s what the other Digimon have been telling me.
MARIA: Digimon Emperor? Hmmph. I’ll show him. Hey, you!
EMPEROR: My name is the Digimon Emperor! Who are you supposed to be?
KIKUMON: Mary, I don’t think this is a good idea…
MARIA (to EMPEROR): A Digidestined, out to protect these Digimon!
EMPEROR: You? Ha. You’re no match for me. I should destroy you where you stand. Tyrannomon!
[Enter TYRANNOMON] Destroy them!
KIKUMON: Mary, I think we should get out of here! I can’t digivolve!
MARIA: I think you’re right! [Exit Maria and Kikumon, followed by Tyrannomon]
EMPEROR: See? I knew those fools wouldn’t be any match for me!
WORMMON: Of course, Master, but did we have to send Tyrannomon after them?
EMPEROR: Silence!
WORMMON: Yes, Master… [Exeunt]
[Enter Maria and Kikumon, seemingly through a computer]
MARIA: The brazen nerve! Forsooth, I tell thee, he shall pay for his grievances!
KIKUMON: Must you always talk like that when you’re excited? But, I agree: that Emperor is trouble. We ought to stay out of his way…
MARIA: And allow those noble Digimon to be bent to his vile will? Nay, Kikumon! We shall fight this beast, for all kinds!
KIKUMON: Well, okay, that’s all well and good. I’m sure all of the Digimon will be grateful. But, just how will we go about fighting him? All he has to do is strap a Dark Spiral onto an Ultimate level Digimon, and we’re toast! Besides, we’ve never fought someone who wasn’t a Digimon before…
MARIA: Truth! Still, he must have a weakness! Such is found in all men! The question lies: what? Power? Money? A face as fair as his? Marry, we must discover it!
KIKUMON: You mean about the Emperor?
MARIA: Ay, he. Ay, but he’ll have but a year in all these ducats: he’s a very fool and a prodigal. He hath, indeed, almost natural: for, besides that he’s a fool, he’s a great quarreler; and, but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, ‘tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him; did not I tell? La, and you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched! Marry, though, sometimes he is a kind of puritan. The devil a puritan that he is, or any thing constantly, but a time-pleaser; an affection’d ass, that cons state without book, and utters it by great swarths: the best persuaded of himself, so cramm’d, as he thinks, with excellencies, that it is his grounds of faith that all that look on him love him; and on that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause to work. Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order. I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of love; wherein, by the shape of his leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure of his eye, forehead, and complexion, he shall find himself most feeling personated.
No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.
What’s that to th’purpose? A good Lenten answer: I can tell thee where that saying was born, of,--I fear no colours. Sport royal, I warrant you: I know my physic will work with him. I will plant two, and let the fool make a third, where he shall find the letter: observe his construction of it. That if one breaks, the other will hold; or, if both break, your gaskins fall. It’s dry; a dry jest. My purpose is, indeed, a horse of that colour.
Nay, but say true; does it work upon him?
Marry, true, and it shall be done tomorrow morning, if I live.
Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air, and taint. The house will be the quieter.
And, already I hold a vision of what shall pass! Upon his folly, he shall come to me, and shall inquire as to who I am!
“My name is Mary, sir,” I shall reply. And he will wonder as to where I have been, such that the letters may have fallen into his hands, with no trace of me! Yet, I shall answer: “Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse.”
“You bind my hands with your response,” he will say.
“Sir, I have not you by th’hand,” I will tell him.
“But you do! You have taken my hands,” he’ll protest.
“Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers’ ends: marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren,” I will say.
“I don’t know where you have been,” he will tell me, “But I think you must have known where I have been.” And I shall:
“In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery, though ass, I doubt not,” I will tell, “For the love o’ God, peace! Peace, you rogue, no more o’ that. Make your excuse wisely, you were best. Go shake your ears. You you will be hang’d for being so long absent; or, to be turn’d away,--is not that as good as a hanging to you? If not, make that good.”
“You are resolute, then?” he will ask, to which I will answer:
“And you too, sir. For this night, to bed, and dream on the event. Farewell.”
KIKUMON: Love letters? Are you sure about this? And do you have to talk like you just walked out of the Globe? I mean, he didn’t exactly seem like a nice guy, and was more into dominating the Digital World than into girls…
MARIA: What other path have we?
KIKUMON: Mary… Will you cut the Shakespeare act? We’re not even in England.
MARIA: Oh, all right. Sorry. I just get carried away sometimes. But, anyway, I think this is the only way we’re going to get through to him. He obviously thinks he’s some sort of God-figure, an evil God, of the Digital World, and what better way to bring him back to his place than through love? It would at least provide a distraction while we help those Digimon.
KIKUMON: Hmm. If you say so, but I hope you know what you’re doing.
[Enter Emperor] EMPEROR: So, another fool thinks she can defeat me. No matter. I get rid of her soon enough, and I’ll make her Digimon another one of my slaves. After all, no being is as powerful or as perfect as I am. Soon, the entire Digital World will be under my control!
[Enter Wormmon, carrying a folded piece of paper]
WORMMON: Master?
EMPEROR: What do you want?
WORMMON: Oh, nothing, but I was wondering what your plan was for dealing with that Digidestined girl.
EMPEROR: Hmmph. I don’t see why I should tell you, Wormmon.
WORMMON: Of course not, Master, but she left you a note…
EMPEROR (turning on Wormmon): What? How did she get in here? Did you let her in? You’re so worthless; I don’t even know why I bother with you!
WORMMON: I know, Master, but-
EMPEROR: Well, don’t just stand there! Give it to me!
WORMMON: Yes, Master. Here you go… [Emperor snatches away the note and reads it silently] What does it say?
EMPEROR: None of your business! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have something to take care of! [Exit]
WORMMON: Master? Wait for me… [Exit]
[Enter Maria, followed by Kikumon]
KIKUMON: Are you sure we should be doing this?
MARIA: Did you have a better plan?
KIKUMON: Besides ‘stay out of it?’ No… Still, this place makes my petals shiver…
[Footsteps sound offstage]
MARIA: Oh, Lord! Get ye all three into the box-tree: he’s coming down this walk: he has been yonder i’the sun practicing behaviour to his own shadow this half-hour: observe him, for the love of mockery; for I know this letter will make a contemplative idiot of him. Close, in the name of jesting! Lie thou there; for here comes the trout that must be caught with tickling. He’s coming, but in very strange manner. He is, surely, possessed.
KIKUMON: Mary? You’re doing it again…
MARIA: Oops. Sorry. It’s just that I’ve never done this before.
KIKUMON: If that was supposed to make me feel better about this, it didn’t work.
MARIA: Quick! Out of- [Enter Emperor, carrying the letter in one hand, followed by Wormmon] -sight.
EMPEROR: You! How did you get in here?
MARIA: Through the door, sir.
EMPEROR: Don’t mock me! And, I’m the Digimon Emperor! I expect to be called such!
MARIA: Of course…Emperor. In any case, I’m certain you know why I’m here. You’re holding my letter.
EMPEROR: Hmmph. I received it.
MARIA: And, you read it?
EMPEROR: Yes, I read your flattery.
MARIA: And?
EMPEROR: And, you’re wasting my time, not to mention yours! Come, Wormmon! [Emperor turns to leave]
MARIA: Wait! Surely, we can come to some sort of agreement! The pen speaks through the heart, you know.
EMPEROR (pausing): I don’t think so. [Exit Emperor and Wormmon]
KIKUMON: Well, so much for that plan. Let’s go.
MARIA: I’m not giving up that easily. Come on, I’ll see what I can do, while you help the Digimon! After all, we’ve got a god to fight!
[Exit Maria in direction of the Emperor]
KIKUMON: I don’t know why I let myself get into these situations… [Exit, following Maria]
[Enter Emperor, followed by Wormmon]
EMPEROR: Ha! Can you believe her? Thinking she can win me over through flattery? As true as it was, no being is worthy of me.
WORMMON: Of course not, Master, but she does seem nice. Maybe you should give her a chance.
EMPEROR: Silence, Wormmon! [a knocking is heard offstage] Now what does she want?
WORMMON: Shall I let them in, Master?
EMPEROR: If you have to.
[Enter Maria]
MARIA: I’m glad I caught up to you, Emperor. You, too, Wormmon.
EMPEROR: Hmmph. Just who do you think you are, anyway?
MARIA: My name is Mary, and I told you that I wanted to protect the Digimon.
EMPEROR: I see.
MARIA: And, I was thinking, and I wondered what better way to protect the Digimon than to unite them under an Emperor, such as yourself?
EMPEROR: A wise decision, but you’re still wasting my time.
MARIA: How can you be so sure? Wouldn’t it be easier to unite them with some help?
EMPEROR: I don’t need any help.
MARIA: Of course you don’t. Still, why not take the advantage, and allow yourself a little free time? I mean, why fight a war, when you can do it peacefully? It would be a foolish waste of time and energy, after all.
EMPEROR: You’re treading on dangerous ground! But, if you insist on bothering me, fine. You can help me…“unite” the Digimon, under my control.
MARIA: Oh, thank you, Emperor! You are most wise to let me be your partner!
EMPEROR: I did not say you were my partner! But, you can help. Now, go.
MARIA: Of course. Thank you, again. [Exit]
WORMMON: That was nice of you to let her help us, Master.
EMPEROR: Hmmph. We’ll see. I intend to make her and her Digimon part of my slaves, eventually. This was just to give her a false sense of security before I bend them both to my will!
WORMMON: Do you have to, Master?
EMPEROR: Yes, Wormmon! Do not question my authority!
WORMMON: I’m sorry, Master. You’re right… [Exeunt]
[Enter Kikumon]
KIKUMON: Well, that’s that.
[Enter Maria]
MARIA: Did you do it?
KIKUMON: Yes! I broke all the Dark Spirals and released the Digimon!
MARIA: Wonderful! And, the Emperor has no idea what we’ve done, since he thinks I’m helping him.
EMPEROR (offstage): What?! She tricked me!!!!
KIKUMON: Well, he does now. We’d better get out of here…
MARIA: Uh-huh. I agree, but at least we helped those Digimon, and perhaps now the Emperor has seen the folly of his ways. [Exeunt]
[Enter Emperor, followed by Wormmon]
EMPEROR: Wormmon! How could you let this happen?!
WORMMON: I’m sorry, Master! I didn’t know!
EMPEROR: Well, it’s too late for excuses now! And, I swear, I will get my revenge on her yet, and regain all those Digimon, and then the entire Digital World will be under my control!
[Exeunt]
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